I've put this off long enough

For the longest time I have held off writing this post, because I do not like recalling the images in my mind. Some of you might remember that Will and I took a trip in mid-March to visit my family in Destin, FL. Rather than starting from scratch, I'm going to simply copy & paste the email I sent out to friends & family the day we got back from the hospital, so here goes...

Saturday, March 14
I don't even know where to begin with this, except to say the Lord is good and He protected our sweet little boy from something potentially life-threatening last night. This was by far the scariest thing I have ever went through. As some of you know, Will & I have been in Destin visiting my family this week (Dave stayed back due to work travel and CFA studies). When I put Will to bed last night around 7:30, he was perfectly healthy. I awoke around 1:30 this a.m. (actually, I firmly believe an angel woke me up) to him making what sounded like clicking noises with his tongue. I wasn't alarmed at first, because he periodically wakes himself up in the middle of the night and he'll just make noises or talk to himself for a few minutes and then put him back to sleep. Well, after probably 30 seconds of him making that sound, I noticed that it was almost in a rhythmic pattern. That's when I got scared, because I then heard what sounded like him throwing up, although very quietly, and he wasn't making any other noises or crying or anything. I turned on the light and found him in his crib lying on his back covered in vomit, unresponsive, and his eyes were rolling back into his head. His body was burning up - he was so hot. You guys, I have never been so afraid in my entire life. I can't stop the tears from welling in my eyes whenever I play back the pictures in my head. I honestly couldn't even tell if he was breathing, and I thought we were losing our little boy. I picked him up and tried to get him to cough up anything lodged in his throat, but he was completely out of it and his body limp. I'm so thankful it happened with family around and I wasn't home alone with Will while Dave was traveling for work or something! My aunt & uncle were staying here for a couple days and were in the next room over, so I opened their door in a panic and yelled for their help. I knew I needed to call 911 immediately because of how unresponsive Will was. I handed him to my aunt and she and my uncle began praying with him. My brother then woke up to what was going on and he got my parents. He also called Dave to let him know what was going on (I couldn't imagine being in Dave's position and getting that phone call at 1:30 a.m. from 1000 miles away...we didn't even really know what was going on at that point!). I called 911 and tried to tell them as best I could what I heard/saw. They kept asking me if he was breathing, and I kept saying, 'I don't know, I don't know, it's hard to tell.' How crazy does that sound?! But it was the truth, we truly were having a hard time telling.

It seemed like an eternity, but the ambulance got here probably within 5 minutes. They were able to get out whatever was left in his airways (basically his entire dinner). I rode with him in the ambulance to the emergency room, and when we got there they began running several tests...chest x-ray, blood draw, etc. They believe that his fever spiked so quickly that it caused him to go into a seizure. He had an ear infection a couple weeks ago and our Pediatrician put him on an anti-biotic. I had him checked out a few days before we left to come here, and they said he was doing fine to travel. Apparently the ear infection (and what they think was the beginning of bronchitis, & tonsillitis) came back with a vengeance last night. We were able to get him on another anti-biotic, but his fever is still fairly high right now, so we're watching him closely. We were released from the hospital around 6:30 this a.m.

So many things I'm thankful for - I mentioned the fact that it happened here with family and that I wasn't alone at home when it happened; the fact that Will has been sleeping in the same room with me, so I was able to hear him struggling, because had this happened at home and I/we heard those noises through the monitor, quite honestly, we probably wouldn't have thought a thing about it, and let him try to fall back asleep; I believe the Lord orchestrated the timing, because had it happened earlier that evening when I was out hanging out with my family, I would've had no idea what was happening in the next room over...these are just a few things I'm thankful for, but of course the biggest that the Lord protected Will. We pray over him every single night that the Lord would station guardian angels around his crib to keep him safe, and I KNOW the Lord answered those prayers! Thank you, Jesus!






This was taken just hours before his episode (as was the one at the beginning of this post).











From the hospital bed





















As you might imagine, I had a really hard time sleeping for the next several weeks. I would wake up constantly throughout the night to check on Will. All I kept thinking was, "what more can I do to protect him and keep this from happening again?!" I know there were so many friends and family praying for us during that time, and we are so very grateful.

The Lord led me to a verse about 2 weeks after the incident, which gave me comfort and allowed me to begin sleeping peacefully again, "I will lie down and sleep in peace; for you alone, O Lord make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8 Through this verse the Lord reminded me that HE is the one in control, and the ONLY one who can ultimately protect our children. Dave also was so wise to remind me that the Lord has entrusted Will to us as a gift, but that he belongs to the Lord. I think it's only natural for a parent to wrestle with that idea, but in all honesty, it helped me to realize that no matter what measures we take to try to protect our children, the Lord truly is the one in control.

On a lighter note, here's some more photos of our trip...the funner stuff :)




Papaw & Gigi












My Aunt Cathy & Uncle Ken













Me & my little man :)











This was after his scary episode (one positive out of the whole experience was that we got to stay an extra day!)...this was the day before we went home, and Will was back to his quirky little self ;-)

A Heart of Thanks

I am so grateful that the Lord blessed me with the gift of being a mom. All those cliches are true...words cannot express the joy that children bring. But for as thankful as I am, my heart can't help but think of those I know who so desperately want to experience being a mother as well; and also for those who have lost children. I cannot even begin to comprehend the pain of losing a child, or even the deep longing to have a child and wonder why the Lord has not allowed it up to this point. My thoughts and prayers are with you, my dear friends.

It's hard to believe that this is already my 2nd mother's day with Will. I thought his first year flew by, but time has only gone faster the older he gets. I had some time to think on this while potting flowers this morning. Dave had to fly out this afternoon for a work trip, so rather than going to church and skipping out early so he could rush off to the airport, we decided to go to a different sort of church called, Starbucks :) I was bummed at first that we'd be missing church, but I'll be honest - it was nice to have a laid-back morning and not run around like mad. After our healthy (eh hem) breakfast at Starbucks, we came back home and Will helped Dave mow the lawn while I potted some of my flowers. I loved being able to spend some time outside with my two favorite boys. Will looked so proud to be helping Dave. I did get some footage on our video camera, but I'm going to be lazy and upload a similar video from my phone that I took last week:

To say that Will enjoys playing outside is an understatement. This boy would be outside all day long if we let him. He loves to point out every squirrel and rabbit that comes within 100 feet of him; every bird, airplane, and helicopter that flies overhead; and every car, truck, bus or motorcycle that whizzes by. Currently his favorite activities are pushing his bubble lawnmower around the yard and playing with his trucks. I'm thankful he still likes going for runs in the jogging stroller, too...he often pushes it out of the garage and starts climbing in to inform me that he's ready to go. We frequently end up at the park, so I'm guessing that has something to do with it, too.

Some of you are already aware, while others are not, but I figured what better day than Mother's Day to mention that we're expecting babo #2. I'm about 15 weeks along, which means I'm due around November 3rd. We're excited, and so far I've been feeling pretty good. Below are a few more pics of my little man :)







I actually succeeded in getting Will to look at me while taking a photo.
















A typical boy playing with trucks...accompanied by grass stains and holes in the knees of his jeans.












My sad attempt at a self-portrait of Will & me

A Week with Uncle Buzz

For those of you who weren't aware, I'm an Irish Twin (which means that my older brother and I are less than a year apart)...God bless my mother! For those of you other moms out there, imagine having a 2 month old and finding out you were expecting again...no thanks! As you would imagine, my brother and I were very close growing up, and many people mistook us for being twins. I can also imagine the reaction my parents would get when they told people we were only 11 months apart. It wasn't until having a child of my own that I began to appreciate the obstacles my parents probably dealt with on a daily basis. I wouldn't imagine they got out much.

Although there were seasons along the way that my bro and I didn't get along the best (think junior high years and having a typical older brother who liked to embarrass you in front of your friends, and who would beat up boys if they so much as looked your direction), I'm thankful to say we still have a good relationship.

He's done well making trips out to Omaha throughout the years, and a couple weeks ago he visited again...this time he said it was to see Will, and that Dave & I were an added bonus...we get it, Buzz ;-) He was here during the week, so it was nice for me to have someone else around the house during the days, and of course to help keep Will occupied. They got along great, and Will seemed to think everything his Uncle Buzz did was funny. We had beautiful weather and spent a lot of time outside.































As you can see, Buzz isn't exactly the greatest influence on Will.


















Say, "cheese," boys :)