I've put this off long enough

For the longest time I have held off writing this post, because I do not like recalling the images in my mind. Some of you might remember that Will and I took a trip in mid-March to visit my family in Destin, FL. Rather than starting from scratch, I'm going to simply copy & paste the email I sent out to friends & family the day we got back from the hospital, so here goes...

Saturday, March 14
I don't even know where to begin with this, except to say the Lord is good and He protected our sweet little boy from something potentially life-threatening last night. This was by far the scariest thing I have ever went through. As some of you know, Will & I have been in Destin visiting my family this week (Dave stayed back due to work travel and CFA studies). When I put Will to bed last night around 7:30, he was perfectly healthy. I awoke around 1:30 this a.m. (actually, I firmly believe an angel woke me up) to him making what sounded like clicking noises with his tongue. I wasn't alarmed at first, because he periodically wakes himself up in the middle of the night and he'll just make noises or talk to himself for a few minutes and then put him back to sleep. Well, after probably 30 seconds of him making that sound, I noticed that it was almost in a rhythmic pattern. That's when I got scared, because I then heard what sounded like him throwing up, although very quietly, and he wasn't making any other noises or crying or anything. I turned on the light and found him in his crib lying on his back covered in vomit, unresponsive, and his eyes were rolling back into his head. His body was burning up - he was so hot. You guys, I have never been so afraid in my entire life. I can't stop the tears from welling in my eyes whenever I play back the pictures in my head. I honestly couldn't even tell if he was breathing, and I thought we were losing our little boy. I picked him up and tried to get him to cough up anything lodged in his throat, but he was completely out of it and his body limp. I'm so thankful it happened with family around and I wasn't home alone with Will while Dave was traveling for work or something! My aunt & uncle were staying here for a couple days and were in the next room over, so I opened their door in a panic and yelled for their help. I knew I needed to call 911 immediately because of how unresponsive Will was. I handed him to my aunt and she and my uncle began praying with him. My brother then woke up to what was going on and he got my parents. He also called Dave to let him know what was going on (I couldn't imagine being in Dave's position and getting that phone call at 1:30 a.m. from 1000 miles away...we didn't even really know what was going on at that point!). I called 911 and tried to tell them as best I could what I heard/saw. They kept asking me if he was breathing, and I kept saying, 'I don't know, I don't know, it's hard to tell.' How crazy does that sound?! But it was the truth, we truly were having a hard time telling.

It seemed like an eternity, but the ambulance got here probably within 5 minutes. They were able to get out whatever was left in his airways (basically his entire dinner). I rode with him in the ambulance to the emergency room, and when we got there they began running several tests...chest x-ray, blood draw, etc. They believe that his fever spiked so quickly that it caused him to go into a seizure. He had an ear infection a couple weeks ago and our Pediatrician put him on an anti-biotic. I had him checked out a few days before we left to come here, and they said he was doing fine to travel. Apparently the ear infection (and what they think was the beginning of bronchitis, & tonsillitis) came back with a vengeance last night. We were able to get him on another anti-biotic, but his fever is still fairly high right now, so we're watching him closely. We were released from the hospital around 6:30 this a.m.

So many things I'm thankful for - I mentioned the fact that it happened here with family and that I wasn't alone at home when it happened; the fact that Will has been sleeping in the same room with me, so I was able to hear him struggling, because had this happened at home and I/we heard those noises through the monitor, quite honestly, we probably wouldn't have thought a thing about it, and let him try to fall back asleep; I believe the Lord orchestrated the timing, because had it happened earlier that evening when I was out hanging out with my family, I would've had no idea what was happening in the next room over...these are just a few things I'm thankful for, but of course the biggest that the Lord protected Will. We pray over him every single night that the Lord would station guardian angels around his crib to keep him safe, and I KNOW the Lord answered those prayers! Thank you, Jesus!






This was taken just hours before his episode (as was the one at the beginning of this post).











From the hospital bed





















As you might imagine, I had a really hard time sleeping for the next several weeks. I would wake up constantly throughout the night to check on Will. All I kept thinking was, "what more can I do to protect him and keep this from happening again?!" I know there were so many friends and family praying for us during that time, and we are so very grateful.

The Lord led me to a verse about 2 weeks after the incident, which gave me comfort and allowed me to begin sleeping peacefully again, "I will lie down and sleep in peace; for you alone, O Lord make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8 Through this verse the Lord reminded me that HE is the one in control, and the ONLY one who can ultimately protect our children. Dave also was so wise to remind me that the Lord has entrusted Will to us as a gift, but that he belongs to the Lord. I think it's only natural for a parent to wrestle with that idea, but in all honesty, it helped me to realize that no matter what measures we take to try to protect our children, the Lord truly is the one in control.

On a lighter note, here's some more photos of our trip...the funner stuff :)




Papaw & Gigi












My Aunt Cathy & Uncle Ken













Me & my little man :)











This was after his scary episode (one positive out of the whole experience was that we got to stay an extra day!)...this was the day before we went home, and Will was back to his quirky little self ;-)